Notes from the Creative Leader
First, I find the need to express my upmost appreciation for this one-of-a-kind performance art event. It has been a consistently groundbreaking outlet through which CI students have been able to express their talents by pouring their souls onto the AUTS stage every year. This show is, among many other things, a brilliantly interdisciplinary event, which, on a personal level, allowed me as a biology major to have the opportunity of keeping my artistic soul nourished throughout my college career. I’m beyond honored and satisfied to bring another idea to life on the AUTS stage one last time before I graduate at the end of this semester.
I’ve always wanted to dedicate a performance to my mom, she is truly the purest and most caring beam of light and selflessness I have in my life. She has gone through incredible adversity and hard-work to become the noble and iconic woman she is today. I’ve always thought about how many people must feel this way about their mom or any equivalent nurturing and soul nourishing figure they have in their lives. We’re so dependent on these people to keep our lives purposeful and together, and so much of their life revolves around keeping us balanced. With that, sparked a long lasting want to show my appreciation for these people through art, an ode to those “mothers” in our lives.
As I go into my final semester and prepare for the next chapter of adulthood in my life, in a direction away from my mom and all I’ve ever known, I have this incredible nostalgia about so many things, especially the wonderful childhood I’ve had thanks to my mom. The wonderful years I’ve spent growing up by her side, hazy summer afternoon moments with her inculcating her culture and values into me, making me the person I am today. It also takes me back to all the moments where I was unfair and pushed her away. As many children are guilty of, I admit to being hurtful, prideful and inconsiderate, holding her ridiculously over-accountable in situations where I realized she wasn’t perfect. All while she waited patiently and selflessly, putting aside her own fears and insecurities never thinking twice about putting me and the rest of our family before herself. I know that it breaks her heart to see me grow up and start to make my own life, but I also know that it is simultaneously all she’s ever wanted for me, to reach my full potential and become everything I’m meant to be. No matter how far I go or stray away, she’s the lighthouse whose beam of light will always guide me home and back to my true self. I wrote a poem for her a couple of years back and there was a line of dialogue in it that I feel truly represents the overall theme of the poem:
Mother: Princess, promise me you’ll never grow up, can you promise that you’ll never leave my side?
Daughter: Mommy, I cannot promise that I’ll never grow up and leave, but I promise you’ll be the reason I’ll always come back.
Tying this back to the theme of metamorphosis felt incredibly natural. I wanted the appreciation for these mothers and mother figures to be depicted, and to also shed light on the struggles of growing up and changing, emphasizing on the moments children realize and unfairly judge their parent for not being perfect, leading it back to where I find myself now, at a more experienced and empathetic place in my life where I understand so much more every parenting choice she made, how right she really was all those times and regardless of her imperfections, how incredibly kind-hearted and genuine all of her intentions are for me. And as I move into this chapter where I am growing up and leaving her, she truly is that beam of light that will always bring me back, keeping me close to my roots and true to myself.
The biological definition of metamorphosis is “a biological process by which an animal physically develops after birth or hatching, involving a conspicuous and relatively abrupt change in the animal’s body structure…”. Like in other organism’s metamorphic experiences, we as humans too go through literal and metaphoric changes in our lives that allow us to grow and thrive. This piece is about that journey and being lucky enough to also have those “sure things” in our lives that make that journey purposeful. Here’s to those people.
Mamita hermosa, te adoro. Todo lo que soy, y todo que llegaré a ser, es por tí.
- Jacqueline Chávez